Animal Welfare Professionals

Wow, BJ, hear, hear! Beautifully written.  Thank you.

I have said this repeatedly to colleagues for a few years now: values are comparative and naturally invoke empathy for those that are like us and distance, even condemnation, for those that aren't. That is the response pattern we constantly see.

The problem is that it's not an easy fix. It requires everyone to withstand dissonance…feeling and caring for the animals that aren't cared for as we expect or would care for ourselves but also showing compassion, curiosity, and concern for the people involved even if they don't hold the same values.

It's easier to respond quickly and passionately than to hold the dissonance until we have enough information to truly be compassionate for those that are just subjected to difficulties or validly condemn those that warrant it. It's an added stressor that adds to the sense of overwhelm, which is why the veterinary social work and other support systems are needed more than ever. 

------------------------------
Lawrence Minnis
George Mason University
DC
------------------------------

This nails something the field talks around but rarely says this clearly.

The values-as-comparative framework explains so much of what goes sideways in animal welfare. Someone surrenders a dog because they lost housing, and the system's first instinct is judgment, not curiosity. We skip right past "what happened to this family" and land on "how could they do that to their pet." And once you're in that frame, every solution you build starts from the wrong place.

Most of our infrastructure activates after the damage is done. By the time an animal enters a shelter, the family is already gone from the picture. We've already lost the moment where compassion and a little practical support could have kept everyone together.

That dissonance you're describing is the exact thing we're trying to sit with at Animal-Angels Foundation. We're building prevention infrastructure in Central Alabama, and the whole model depends on holding both truths at once: animals deserve better, and most of the people involved aren't villains. They're out of options. The work is figuring out where the options ran out and putting something there before it happens again.

You're right that it's not easy. And you're right that support systems for the people doing this work matter more than ever. You can't ask someone to hold that kind of tension every day without giving them somewhere to set it down.

------------------------------
BJ Adkins
Founder/Director
Animal-Angels Foundation
Pinson, AL
bjadkins@animal-angels.org
animal-angelsfoundation.org
------------------------------


Original Message:
Sent: 03-22-2026 04:56 AM
From: Lawrence Minnis
Subject: Are we making surrender worse by shaming the people who need help?

I have said this repeatedly to colleagues for a few years now: values are comparative and naturally invoke empathy for those that are like us and distance, even condemnation, for those that aren't. That is the response pattern we constantly see.

The problem is that it's not an easy fix. It requires everyone to withstand dissonance…feeling and caring for the animals that aren't cared for as we expect or would care for ourselves but also showing compassion, curiosity, and concern for the people involved even if they don't hold the same values.

It's easier to respond quickly and passionately than to hold the dissonance until we have enough information to truly be compassionate for those that are just subjected to difficulties or validly condemn those that warrant it. It's an added stressor that adds to the sense of overwhelm, which is why the veterinary social work and other support systems are needed more than ever. 

------------------------------
Lawrence Minnis
George Mason University
DC

Hi, BJ

You are truly amazing. I worked for years for an agency that provided support to community members with HIV and AIDS.  But HIV was often the tenth or 11th "thing" on their list behind substance use, poverty, racism, past trauma, etc.  While struggling through wrapping my head around trauma informed care provision, a coworker simply explained that it is shifting you mindset from "what is wrong with you" to "what happened to you?"  To hear you say this in this context makes so much sense to me.  Thank you!

This nails something the field talks around but rarely says this clearly.

The values-as-comparative framework explains so much of what goes sideways in animal welfare. Someone surrenders a dog because they lost housing, and the system's first instinct is judgment, not curiosity. We skip right past "what happened to this family" and land on "how could they do that to their pet." And once you're in that frame, every solution you build starts from the wrong place.

Most of our infrastructure activates after the damage is done. By the time an animal enters a shelter, the family is already gone from the picture. We've already lost the moment where compassion and a little practical support could have kept everyone together.

That dissonance you're describing is the exact thing we're trying to sit with at Animal-Angels Foundation. We're building prevention infrastructure in Central Alabama, and the whole model depends on holding both truths at once: animals deserve better, and most of the people involved aren't villains. They're out of options. The work is figuring out where the options ran out and putting something there before it happens again.

You're right that it's not easy. And you're right that support systems for the people doing this work matter more than ever. You can't ask someone to hold that kind of tension every day without giving them somewhere to set it down.

------------------------------
BJ Adkins
Founder/Director
Animal-Angels Foundation
Pinson, AL
bjadkins@animal-angels.org
animal-angelsfoundation.org


Original Message:
Sent: 03-22-2026 04:56 AM
From: Lawrence Minnis
Subject: Are we making surrender worse by shaming the people who need help?

I have said this repeatedly to colleagues for a few years now: values are comparative and naturally invoke empathy for those that are like us and distance, even condemnation, for those that aren't. That is the response pattern we constantly see.

The problem is that it's not an easy fix. It requires everyone to withstand dissonance…feeling and caring for the animals that aren't cared for as we expect or would care for ourselves but also showing compassion, curiosity, and concern for the people involved even if they don't hold the same values.

It's easier to respond quickly and passionately than to hold the dissonance until we have enough information to truly be compassionate for those that are just subjected to difficulties or validly condemn those that warrant it. It's an added stressor that adds to the sense of overwhelm, which is why the veterinary social work and other support systems are needed more than ever. 

------------------------------
Lawrence Minnis
George Mason University
DC

Hi BJ- I could not agree more. I do training on trauma-informed owner surrender and I think it is not only important to look at the systems that affect surrender, but also how our own values and biases contribute to our thoughts and feelings.  I am presenting a trauma-informed owner surrender toolkit at Pet Expo this year and will be ready to share it with others in April. In the meantime, I am attaching a flyer about grief and owner surrender for clients and also some tips for staff to use trauma-informed principles during the surrender process. Thanks for bringing up such an important topic!

Shoshana Mostoller

Hi BJ- I could not agree more. I do training on trauma-informed owner surrender and I think it is not only important to look at the systems that affect surrender, but also how our own values and biases contribute to our thoughts and feelings.  I am presenting a trauma-informed owner surrender toolkit at Pet Expo this year and will be ready to share it with others in April. In the meantime, I am attaching a flyer about grief and owner surrender for clients and also some tips for staff to use trauma-informed principles during the surrender process. Thanks for bringing up such an important topic!

Shoshana Mostoller

I will be happy to share the toolkit with you next month and thanks again for starting this important thread.  I am happy to be a resource in the future, should you need it.  You can reach out to me at shoshana@mydogismyhome.org. 

Hi BJ- I could not agree more. I do training on trauma-informed owner surrender and I think it is not only important to look at the systems that affect surrender, but also how our own values and biases contribute to our thoughts and feelings.  I am presenting a trauma-informed owner surrender toolkit at Pet Expo this year and will be ready to share it with others in April. In the meantime, I am attaching a flyer about grief and owner surrender for clients and also some tips for staff to use trauma-informed principles during the surrender process. Thanks for bringing up such an important topic!

Shoshana Mostoller

Shoshana, I would love to see the toolkit once it's ready. What you're building for Pet Expo sounds like exactly the kind of practical, hands-in-the-dirt resource that families and the people serving them actually need.

And I appreciate you being willing to stay connected. We're building our Pet Help Desk as a triage resource for families in crisis, and having someone with your background in trauma-informed work and owner surrender prevention in our back pocket would be a real asset. I may take you up on that.

You can always reach me at bjadkins@animal-angels.org or (205) 754-7542.

Looking forward to seeing those kits come together.

BJ Adkins Founder, Animal-Angels Foundation

I will be happy to share the toolkit with you next month and thanks again for starting this important thread.  I am happy to be a resource in the future, should you need it.  You can reach out to me at shoshana@mydogismyhome.org. 

Hi BJ- I could not agree more. I do training on trauma-informed owner surrender and I think it is not only important to look at the systems that affect surrender, but also how our own values and biases contribute to our thoughts and feelings.  I am presenting a trauma-informed owner surrender toolkit at Pet Expo this year and will be ready to share it with others in April. In the meantime, I am attaching a flyer about grief and owner surrender for clients and also some tips for staff to use trauma-informed principles during the surrender process. Thanks for bringing up such an important topic!

Shoshana Mostoller

This is so difficult  - there are times when it would be so much better for the animal to be surrendered, at least there is hope of a better home.  If the pet is

not getting attention, or is being abused - sending it back home is not a solution.   Unfortunately, because we are in such a throw away society, many surrenders come because the pet is getting old, they got a new puppy and the older dog is not accepting it, etc.   And shelter workers get immune to these "excuses" and can go the shaming route without intending to.  Again - a difficult situation.

Shoshana, I would love to see the toolkit once it's ready. What you're building for Pet Expo sounds like exactly the kind of practical, hands-in-the-dirt resource that families and the people serving them actually need.

And I appreciate you being willing to stay connected. We're building our Pet Help Desk as a triage resource for families in crisis, and having someone with your background in trauma-informed work and owner surrender prevention in our back pocket would be a real asset. I may take you up on that.

You can always reach me at bjadkins@animal-angels.org or (205) 754-7542.

Looking forward to seeing those kits come together.

BJ Adkins Founder, Animal-Angels Foundation

I will be happy to share the toolkit with you next month and thanks again for starting this important thread.  I am happy to be a resource in the future, should you need it.  You can reach out to me at shoshana@mydogismyhome.org. 

Hi BJ- I could not agree more. I do training on trauma-informed owner surrender and I think it is not only important to look at the systems that affect surrender, but also how our own values and biases contribute to our thoughts and feelings.  I am presenting a trauma-informed owner surrender toolkit at Pet Expo this year and will be ready to share it with others in April. In the meantime, I am attaching a flyer about grief and owner surrender for clients and also some tips for staff to use trauma-informed principles during the surrender process. Thanks for bringing up such an important topic!

Shoshana Mostoller

Thank you for posting this question.! This is a big part of what we focus on at SPARC (www.sparcinsight.org), helping teams shift away from blame and shame toward more compassionate and dignified messaging.

We wrote a blog last year that hits right on this:
https://www.sparcinsight.org/post/why-they-dumped-the-dog-isnt-helping-and-what-to-say-instead

Also happy to share more, we've got a lot of free resources and trainings around this that might be useful.