This message was posted by a user wishing to remain anonymous
I have a similar situation and am struggling to determine if it is "just me". I was hired almost a year ago to fill a new position at a rescue working with enrichment and behavior. I was told I was starting from scratch and I have not had shelter experience before but am a dog trainer and an avid learner. I do all the behavior evals and use the form that my predecessor used but when I asked how things are done, I was handed the form and a fake hand on a stick and that was it. I was told I should do behavior evals with more than one person but no one was ever available to me, even when I tried to pre-plan my day, so I started doing small dogs on my own, skipping dog meets and just doing cat meets through bars in the cat room. I have been trying to use resources like Maddie's Fund and ASPCA Pro to increase my learning and understanding. We're all fear free certified but very rarely do we use fear free methods. Part of that is just because our facility was poorly designed by the former owner and we're working as well as we can with what we've got.
I was also put in charge of volunteers a lot of whom have been here for years so when I started doing enrichment I got a lot of push back. Volunteers couldn't be bothered to do click for quiet or aromatherapy sprays because it took too much time. Staff didn't want me using tp rolls for hiding treats (I still did) or paper bags or boxes for playful destruction because of the possibility of obstruction. Items like frisbees I put on our amazon wishlist for peanut butter licking get deleted and then ones we get, get thrown away. The use of slow feeders is like pulling teeth even though we now have almost enough for every dog. Volunteers complain that Kongs are hard to clean. I could go on.
I've had some positive feedback from well meaning volunteers but almost no communication from my coworkers. When a volunteer asks me what special diet a dog is on, I can't answer their question because the kennel health manager won't tell me (even when asked directly).
I've come to the conclusion that I need to look for another position. The straw that broke the camels back: one of our dogs who was diagnosed with cancer a month ago is being put to sleep today. I found out through the grape vine. No one has told the volunteers besides a select few that I have been in contact with. An email is supposed to go out, but hasn't and I'm not in a hurry to facilitate it as I am not part of the decision making process at all. Another dog (elderly, also with cancer) is being put to sleep today as well. I also found out from someone other than the kennel health manager.
A trusted co-worker has told me I need to ask more questions. But how do you ask those questions, "Hey, are we planning on putting anyone to sleep this week?" We are a no-kill rescue and while we've had both health and behavior euthanasia's since I've been here, it's not a regular occurrence.
Our vet tech/kennel tech is sympathetic but they are also leaving. I feel like it's me against the world and I just don't know if it's worth staying. Most of my dog training now goes through the rescue and it is where I do my group classes. I feel like if I quit I'll cut off all my streams of income as little as it is and I don't have anything lined up yet.
I'm not trying to step on your toes, but your post made me see that these things can change and there are places out there if I can find them. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appriciated.
Original Message:
Sent: 07-11-2022 12:29 PM
From: Marissa Reid
Subject: I did it
Hey Everyone,
A bit ago I made a post about how I felt that my organization at the time was racist internally. That was a feeling that I had felt for years but I was able to just block it out because I absolutely loved the work that I did and I loved my organization although I know they did not feel the same about me. I had the wonderful experience of being able to be a huge part of opening our clinic and I honestly felt that I had found my calling in life. I was able to do so many great things, build relationships, develop systems, routines and practices that made the clinic better.
I felt that there were things that were happening that were either not right and/or not best for the business and clinic so I did what I feel I do best and I spoke up about them numerous times. I knew in my heart that I should have just kept quiet but I just had to speak up. I spoke up so much because I cared so much, I really poured my heart and soul into the place I worked. I gave it everything that I had to give.
I had been contemplating my resignation for about a year and a half or more, Each time I decided to resign I talked myself into staying because I really loved my job. A few things had happened made me realize that it was time for me to walk away. I have to be honest and say that turning in my resignation for a job that I really loved was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. Honestly I would categorize it in the top 5 of hard decisions I have had to make in my lifetime. I was with that organization for 5 years. I started at the front desk and worked my way up to a director role. Leaving that organization absolutely broke my heart.
I cannot even begin to explain to you the agony that I dealt with in coming to this decision. I cannot explain how many tears I cried and how much guilt I felt for putting myself first. I knew in my heart that some things I would never be able to change . It was a constant battle of me listening to others tell me that I am not doing a good job or placing the blame on me and then me listening to myself and my team that knew I was making a difference and that I was getting the job done and they felt I was a great leader.
During that time I learned that I cannot make someone see my value. I learned that I have to know that I am valuable and if I do not feel valued then I have to make a change. I learned to never dim my light because it is too bright for others. I learned that I am not aggressive or intimidating but that others are intimidated by my strength and abilities. I learned that I do not have to change me or become less tan so that others feel comfortable when I enter a room. I learned that I did not do anything wrong by walking away when I knew I wasn't accepted. I learned that I did great work while I was there. I learned that broken hearts heal.
I am happy to be starting a new journey at a place that values me, my knowledge, my experience. I am glad that I did not leave the veterinary/animal welfare industry.
I hope that this post helps someone realize that you are valuable. You are doing great work. You matter and it is not OK to put you first. It is not wrong to choose your happiness over the needs of others.
#AccesstoCare
#AdmissionsandIntake(includingIntake-to-placement)
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#CaseManagement*
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Marissa Reid
Assistant Practice Manager
Blue Pearl Specialty and Emergency Pet Hospital
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Access To Care Specialist
Clinic Management Specialist
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